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Jack Tripper, Three’s Company & Finding My Inner Voice

Image: Suzanne Somers

Please feel free to read but don’t come and knock on my door.

Spoiler alert #1: No, my inner voice is not Mr. Furley. Though my outer wardrobe sometimes looks like Mr. Roper.

Spoiler alert #2: Yes, this may have no meaning to anyone born after 1980 or opposed to re-runs on TV.

I remember the most useless things ever. If you need a partner for Trivial Pursuit and the trivial is truly that, I’m your man. If you need a lifeline for stuff that has no meaning whatsoever, again – I’m your guy.

It is funny (read: scary) the things we remember (and more so, the things we don’t) and I have a special propensity for burying deep in the folds of my cerebellum those moments and useless facts that will never, ever help get me out of a prison or a deep forrest or even a bad conversation.

One of these has to do with an episode of “Three’s Company” starring John Ritter as Jack Tripper, the “not really but pretending to be gay” roommate who lives with two beauties so their wacky landlord (first Mr. Roper and then Mr. Furley) will let them all live together.

As an aside, I cannot even imagine this concept at a TV pitch meeting today. The execs would be wholly underwhelmed. Maybe if Jack Tripper happened to also be someone who had to pretend to use a cell phone but due to a mental injury as a kid could only use rotary phones – maybe then it would get some attention.

But I digress.

In one of these episodes, Jack was being given a talk on confidence (or something like that) and he was told to remember the word “BARK”. And here’s where it gets whacky – I actually remember what it stood for (and I’m sure it’s somewhere on YouTube if you need to check). Here it goes:

B – Be somebody!

A – Act like somebody!

R – React like somebody!

K – “Kollect” your rewards.

(Yes, I know – hilarious that they spell “collect” with a “k”- that’s top notch prime time comedy right there!)

If this thing stuck in my head for all these decades and I can’t even make sense of it really, why not come up with one for ourselves? Something customized for us. I need something to remind me that even in the low times, there is a lot to be thankful for and the future is wonderfully unknown. 

Here’s what I got:

R – Remind yourself if what you have to be thankful for

I – Imagine what your future holds if you don’t give up

P – Pick one thing that day to move you toward a goal, any goal.

RIP – there you have it. A whole new meaning to “let ‘er rip”. Now I just need someone to hire me to write a sitcom.

Until next time, Marc

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