• marckaye91

Comparisonville

comparison

At New Year’s Eve last night, we were asked to set our intention for this year – or something to that effect.

Once I got over the internal smart-ass voice in my head, I set an intention of being kinder to myself – something we all probably could all relate to in one way or another – not beating ourselves up for every tiny little thing.

I wasn’t exactly sure how to do that or what it actually meant and then the universe stepped in today as I was trying to do a “simple” project of replacing a cartridge for a shower faucet. Let’s just say, I “successfully” replaced the cartridge and also, “successfully” caused some sort of leak, which I am still trying to rectify.

My initial thought was, of course, “man, you really can’t fix anything. You are the most unhandy person on the planet” but then in order to be kinder to myself, I challenged myself by asking if I really knew every single person on the planet. It turns out I don’t.

Upon a little more introspection, I dug further into where that even comes from in my brain and it comes from the same place where a lot of my insecurities emanate from – Comparisonville, just west of Storyland next to Anxiety Falls.

I compare myself constantly – even when I don’t realize it. I’m at the treadmill at the gym and only see the fit guys that I’ll never look like. It doesn’t matter that I’m old enough to be their dad.

I hear an awesome singer/songwriter and I know I will never get my voice good enough to record my music.

I go on Facebook and every comedian has a gig expect for me. (By the way, for those thinking of taking a trip to Comparisonville, Facebook is like Fastpass for Comparisonville – go directly to “I suck” and bypass everything else.)

So, my real intention for 2019 is to just be. It’s probably way harder than getting 6 pack abs, a recording contract or a killer gig but I know it’s worth it. I also feel that by the time I progress with this intention, I could actually get the shower fixed.

Until next time, Marc

#kindness #comparison #intention #2019 #newyears

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