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A Mob Hit on that Twitter Bird


Is anybody even there? How many of you are really even reading this? Are you on the toilet if you are? It’s ok – I’m a grown man. I can take it. If you are reading this, chances are you didn’t get here through Twitter.

I resisted Facebook until comedian friends told me that it was a necessary evil to network and know what is going on. I resisted Tweeting until I was basically told you had to “try it all.”

Tweeting seems pretty stupid to me. Apparently entire revolutions have been started and hard fought through the use of 140 characters or less so who am I to judge but in terms of any “development” on my end, I’m about to join the resistance.

For anyone out there in the near future who is thinking of “killing two birds with one stone”, can you do me a favor and take a shot at that annoying Twitter bird? You know him – the annoying little blue guy that looks a lot like those overly-optimistic pests that flutter around Snow White and Cinderella as they’re getting dressed in the morning. Do me a favor – at least let’s pull a Tanya Harding and incapacitate the sucker for a bit to see if Twitter really makes a difference at all.

I have read numerous blogs and advice columns on increasing your followers on Twitter and let me tell you:  a) good luck and b) why? It seems to me the people with the huge numbers of followers have them because they’ve already “made it”, not because of Twitter.

Twitter is good for the random thoughts that I have at any given point during the day. I can simply jot them down, throw them out to the universe and if I am really lucky have it “retweeted.” If my grandfather were alive today, I’d be embarrassed to even use the word “tweet” in a sentence other than one having to do with a hanging birdhouse out in the backyard. Even then, I’d probably opt for “chirp”.

So – to you – yeah, you – the universe finishing up whatever it is you are doing in the bathroom while reading this post – do me a favor and @marckaye1 me on Twitter and prove to me that the bird still lives because if I don’t get a mention or interaction in 24 hours, the chirper becomes the 1st of the two birds to bite it!

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